Sunday, February 26, 2012

Being a Man...

What is it about being a man that fascinates you the most?

If you had asked me that question until about a few months ago, I, like any other self-proclaimed female chauvinist, would have thrust my chin in the air and replied vehemently, "NOTHING!".

But as I grow older, (and probably wiser, that's how I like to think about it!), I believe that there are certain things that God clearly has forgotten to bless us Women with.
(I am sure some die-hard feminists are going to disagree with me here, but WTH!)

And I am not even trying to mention some inconsequential stuff like how the men can treat the world as their urinal, or how easy it is for them to dress in the (almost) same pair of clothes everyday and nobody noticing the faux pas, or how their color palette only consists of whites, blacks, reds and yellows or how, no hormonal changes ever take place in their bodies post marriage, kid, blah, blah... <Contempt>

Men, I have observed, are blessed with oodles and oodles of optimism, and more so where a lady is involved. If they have set their heart on something (or someone), no matter how many kicks in the gut they receive, they never give up. Women, I feel, are big fools when it comes to love, while the guys' mantra is "ladki ki naa mein haan h, aur haan to fir, haan h" (A girl's No has a Yes hidden in it, and Yes is a Yes is a Yes)!

There has been many an instance when I have tried to placate some guy friends that the lady in question is clearly not interested and sometimes even rude enough to tell them that they were out of her league. But I have had the pleasure of attending this guy's wedding with her lady and prayed hard for a short bout of amnesia to make him forget whatever s**t I tried telling him.;-))

And there is this thing about a guy's perseverance. Girls will more often than not, fall for a guy with perseverance, money, looks, talent and in that order! Girls always feel some kind of a responsibility towards a man who's been trying to woo her for a long time and sooner or later will be found to have given in. I guess it's all due to our stupid mother hen instincts which make us feel us feel guilty about not being able to reciprocate their feelings. And most of the times, we confuse this affection with L-O-V-E.

The other thing that I really (Really!!!!!) envy in guys is how clearly their life is divided into black and white, while we girls struggle with almost 673 shades of grey!
Guys will always have chalked out things that they want to do and what not to do. While we girls will nervously keep shuffling feet and wringing our hands about the pros and cons of a decision we are going to make. Or how it will affect our near and dear ones. While the guys will go ahead, make the decision and either be successful at it or gain experience and move on.

And therefore, women are often left confused when their ardent-fans-cum-boyfriends turned husbands suddenly lose interest in them. It’s none of their fault. It’s just that the guys are wired that way. They wanted something. They got it and have now set their next target. I really think that this is something that has been handed down over from our ancestors where the men had to take quick decisions while hunting in the jungles. They did not have the luxury of mulling over. While the women were the nurturer of the family, taking care of everyone and 1000 years later, the situation is still the same!

In hindsight, it does feel like a blessing to be a woman.
But when I am getting late for the office, and still undecided about what to wear, or what gifts to buy for family and friends, the never ending confusions whether they would like it or not, the never ending guilt of spending more time in office than at home, or when I see my new jeans getting wasted because it no longer fits me because I-have-no-time-to-exercise, I really wish I could be a Man.

And I am not even trying to mention some inconsequential stuff like how the men can treat the world as their urinal, or how easy it is for them to dress in the (almost) same pair of clothes everyday and nobody noticing the faux pas, or how their color palette only consists of whites, blacks, reds and yellows or how, no hormonal changes ever take place in their bodies post marriage, kid, blah, blah... <Contempt><Contempt><Contempt><sigh>

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Friendship, Marriage, Joys, Memories...!!!

I wonder what is it about marriages that make go weak in the knees, all the time. As soon as I hear the M-word, I start reminiscing about my own and my time. I get nostalgic to the point of getting paranoid.
I go over in remind mode, till I am done recollecting what I was doing precisely at this very moment that day.

Like I am doing right now, three days away from my first Wedding Anniversary. But not many of you would know that my oldest sweetheart and friend and soul sister N got married just two days before me. And so, as it’s her first wedding anniversary tomorrow too, I am trying to recollect as many thoughts and small sweet incidents that preceded the Most Important Day in both of our lives.

Like yesterday. It was the first day of my sanctioned marriage leaves. We had a small pooja at home that day, to ward off any evils before commencing any pre-wedding functions. And 1800 km away, in a small town called Hosur (in Tamil Nadu); my dearest N was getting engaged to the love of her life.
I am as full of emotions today, as I was last year.
Today was N's haldi and sangeet ceremony, and I was preparing for my own with these thoughts. Tomorrow as N will be busy celebrating her first anniversary, I am sure to remember the lagan pooja that was held for my marriage.

I still remember the brief chat I had with N on the 17th. We both were so excited, emotional, happy. We were bubbling and  bursting. On one side, N was wishing me luck for my Big Day, on the other, I was teasing her about her First Night. ;-))

The only sad part about this arrangement was that N and I couldn't be by each other's side on our Big Day.
But we did make up for it, albeit quite a bit, at N's sangeet.


N and I, dancing away to glory at the sangeet!
Less than a month later, N and I were both back in her room at her place. There we were, the same both of us, waiting to exhale and explode and drown each other in our countless stories of experiences of the month gone by. ;-))

@N : I miss you so soo much ! And I just want to wish U n Hemzz a very very very Happy Wedding Anniversary. You guys are one of those rare couples who are so perfect (I know you would be squirming at that!) and made to be with each other. I just want to wish both of you loads of luck, happiness and many more years of togetherness and love. <3<3

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Is Satisfaction a good thing?

Just one of those days when you feel that everyone out there is trying to get you or hold you down. On such days, I try to tell myself, "Dude, you Really think you are that important?" 
It's more of a statement than a question. And I try to distract myself from all these lowlifes (who are out there to get me! *innocent big eyes expression*).

And then, there are days when I am happy doing just the same amount of work, and the same quality of work. And I still feel happy about a job done well.

But on days like today's, I begin to question my satisfaction. I mean, yes, it's a good thing to be satisfied with what you have got (no pun intended!). But is it good to be satisfied with everything that you have got?
That's the war of my spiritual and practical sides (mentioned as SS and PS here on).

SS: At the end of the day (and Life), you would never crib about some office work that you didn't do. And so, it is good enough to be working (after marriage) in a company which, even though, does not provide you with as much work satisfaction as you would like, but gives the comfort of flexible timings and a lot of Annual , Casual and Medical leaves.

PS: Satisfaction leads to stagnation. You will rust and rot, being in that same place for years.

(I feel worse about myself, doing the same kind of work day after day and hating that kind of work and still doing nothing about it. I couldn't agree more with PS.)

 SS : Remember the earlier days when you absolutely loved your job (in the previous company) and had a workaholic's lifestyle? 16 hours in office, lots of coffee, dark circles under the eyes and basically looking like a zombie!

PS : Make a mental note of that. We could work together as a team to not do the last part again, and only be happy and satisfied.

I nod in agreement (a tad apprehensive).

SS : (shouting) You have been there, and said that before!

PS: *talk to the hand expression*

As the never ending war continues, I am still at a loss to decide whether the satisfaction one gets in life out of silly, stupid and important things is something to be savored or is it just a step ahead?

I want changes. But I am afraid of making them. What if they don't turn out the way I planned it?
And so, the risk involved makes it a maddening matrix of satisfaction, needs and risk.  And I can just look at it like some looser unskilled warrior.

I get jealous when someone gets ahead of me, who was at some point in time, at the same place as I was. I don't want to be satisfied then. (PS says 1-0).
And I go all gooey and weak-kneed when I see some career-oriented woman being all cruel and harsh on co-workers and family alike because of unbridled pressures. And I begin to question the importance of it all. (SS says 1 All).

H says this is what they call the Quarter Life Crisis. I, PS and SS couldn't agree more.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Him and Her - Part IV

She is in the happiest phase of her life. Probably, He too. But perhaps, she can never be too sure.

She's learnt the truth of "Never say never" the hard way. Like never wanting to step into the kitchen. Like not wanting a bedroom which smelled like a fart-zone. Like never imagining she could be this happy.

Just like amateur drivers, she and he had experienced the initial thuds and shocks while manuvering their life together. But they were, perhaps, fast learners. Or maybe, being with each other had made them very instinctive about each other and their needs. Or maybe it was Love. It could still be there. Lying crumpled and unfelt under layers of expectations, and lost in the everyday routine of office and house work and trying to catch up with too many things at the same time.

After that inital mayhem, they were looking ahead at wide clean roads, without a bump.
They had the license (to love). They had a life together which they could take anywhere they wanted. And they were happy driving it.

H: (putting a hand around her waist) When are you planning to get rid of those love handles?
S:  (sarcastically) Never! If I can help it. I need to have anything that remotely spells L-O-V-E.
H: (crooked smile) So I guess I have to get used to loving so much more of you.
S: wink wink!

And, they looked at the long, wide road ahead of them.
This was one long bump-free ride they wished would never end.

PS: So long till the next 'speed-breaker' ;-))