Monday, April 14, 2014

L & M - Love Marriage

In a country where the legal age to drive is 18, the legal age for girls to get married is 16 and the legal age for drinking between 18-25, the right to get married to a groom of your own choice is almost non existent. That means, you can own a vehicle, put yours and othets' lives at risk, get married to  a total stranger and have consensual sex and even drink alcohol which might jeopardize your health, but to marry someone of your choice, especially of a different caste is still taboo.

If you live in the villages of Harayana or U.P. you might as well forget the right to live if you decide to marry someone you love. Please someone tell them there is absolutely no honour in "honour killing". Like I said, it's just not allowed. In the cities, it's a little better. You can thank your stars that you won't be killed in cold blood, but might be made to feel as such for all the coming years of your life. Even though he/she might fit in like a glove in the family, they would still be the odd one out. Like a cotton ball in a mansion of satins. Always different, standing out and "lower" quality.

Everybody's moving ahead with the times. Everyone owns a mobile phone, iPad, laptop, colour TVs et al. But this is still one area where the people esp the parents of this country need to grow up. If everything else in your life if 3G, why not this? Why do you think that societal acceptance is more important than your child's happiness? And seriously, in this age of "breaking news", nothing is really worth more than an eyebrow raise. And seriously, every marriage has it's pros and cons. Why single a type out?

Being different and standing out and against is all good and revolutionary on papers, but, in reality, it feels a lot less heroic and mostly full of bad shit. Did you have a love marriage?

15 comments:

  1. It's so weird how parents sometimes still put their foot down on this. While our country has moved so far forward on so many other domains, esp in the areas of women's rights and choices, this is one really strange area. Some very enjoyable and entertaining blogs out there on the subject of LM vs AM too... Well written, and fingers crossed. xxx

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  2. Agree with your thoughts. I also believe that the parents, even if they wish to support their child's decision, fall under societal pressure. Sad!!

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  3. but even in cities there is no escape. There r some honor killing scenes (aarushi etc) in cities too. Even in south India too. Not sure how to repair their brains....

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  4. Yes,you are absolutely right, " There is no honour in honour killings."

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  5. I did have a love marriage, and I really couldn't care less about the raised eyebrows! Luckily also, my in-laws are awesome!!

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  6. Yes I had a love marriage but I know what you are saying. And trust me it is not only in the villages, it is still prevalent every where.

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  7. It's all about caste. Jaat. And it's just too deep rooted to really distinguish between urban or rural backgrounds. And it's not just in marriages - it runs deep in every single aspect of society. The only answer that I can think of is to raise a generation of kids who just don't know what caste or religion is. So long live love and inter caste marriages! :-)

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  8. I had an arranged marriage, but, my cousins, most of them, had love marriage and are as happy as happiness could be. I don't remember any drama happening when they chose their partners. But, I know it is not the case everywhere.

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  9. A marriage does not warrant harming, let alone killing another human being.

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  10. This realization of annoying dogmas especially when it comes to marriage makes me angry...This is something about my country that I absolutely abhor...

    M for Motherly-Random Thoughts Naba

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  11. It's a subject I can't know personally, arranged marriages etc, but I agree, there is no honour in killings.

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  12. It is a shame how we as a country so lag behind in recognizing the right for people to marry according to their choice.

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  13. How I wish that people of our country overcame this caste related discrimination. A lot of problems would get solved.

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  14. 'Being different and standing out and against is all good and revolutionary on papers, but, in reality, it feels a lot less heroic and mostly full of bad shit.' - Loved this line. You have so brilliantly laid out the truth behind fighting everyone to choose the person I want to marry. Guess what, I am still fighting. So not married yet..

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  15. 'Choice' is something very few people in India have. This applies to marriage, career, dress, etc., etc.. Girls/women are worse affected than boys/men.

    We cannot do anything about the past. We can do something about the present. But, we can do a lot about the future by giving our own children the freedom of choice. Are we ready to walk the talk?

    Reached here via A-Z. My A-Z theme, ‘26 Positive Takes on Life’ generally focuses on positive, truly heart-warming, real-life incidents involving ordinary persons whom we can all emulate.

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