Wednesday, April 23, 2014

U unties Umbilical!

A child in a mother's womb gets it's nutrition from the umbilical cord. When the child is born, the umbilical cord is cut. And from that moment onward, the child, only moments old in this new world, has to do a lot of hard work. (S)he has to learn to suck milk out of the mother to survive. Breathe on their own. Pee. Potty. Seemingly innocuous things for us, but huge tasks for these little beings.

But some people, even as they grow up, can't seem to let go of their umbilical cords. It's like their umbilical cords have never been cut. Running to mommy or daddy for every little thing is the way of life for them. I wonder, if infants, as young as days old have to start taking ownership of their life, how come some grown ups refuse to do so?

I have also seen mothers having a very hypocritical attitude towards this phenomenon. The daughter with undying loyalty is fine, but the son-in-law with the same attitude is looked down upon. Similarly, the mother-in-law is absolutely fine controlling the life of her son and daughter-in-law, but if the daughter-in-law seeks her parents' permission, she isn't a part of the family.

Also, I find, there is a lot of gender bias when it comes to being tied to the apron strings. Guys with their invisible  umbilical cords are often referred to as "Mamma's boys", but girls doing the same are just "mumma's pets" or "daddy's darlings". Girls with their umbilical cords are considered as very loyal and loving. However the same attitude from a guy is seen as a weakness.

I have seen many parents encourage this kind of childrens' attitude because I guess they think it shows the child's respect for them. I beg to differ. A child can be as or even more respectful to you despite the fact that he/she may not come running to you for every problem or asking or taking your advice. Or agreeing with you on every point made, In fact, I know of so many people who use this as a kind of excuse for not standing up for the right thing. I don't think parental respect has any meaning if you continue to do wrong elsewhere. Have you cut your umbilical?


9 comments:

  1. True...You know the problem is that forced respect and discipline is drilled in children, boy or girl, by parents instead of love which binds the family ... many are not given the free wings to grow... I feel my family while I was growing up gave me enough room to explore...I still am very close to them and talk to them every day because I want to and there is no forced code of conduct that I have to follow and I think that is one of the ways it should be..
    U for Uncanny-Random Thoughts Naba

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  2. Nope I havent and can never cut my umbilical cord connection but just like U said I dont run to them for every thing .Girls with their umbilical cords are considered as very loyal and loving. However the same attitude from a guy is seen as a weakness.--- This is so true but it is not good for either of them to be toooooooo attached to their parents once they start living with their partner. It creates diff kind of problems - It is just my feeling............

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  3. What a coincidence Ghata! I have also written about Umbilical cord on somewhat similar terms. And you know what that means, right? I agree with what you have written. :)

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  4. A thought provoking post. Relationships are complicated things and a question of give and take. Naba summed up my thoughts well.

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  5. Agree, that many people sue the umbilical cord connection to justify their decisions.

    I feel, I am quite independent ins some spheres though in other spheres ,I am comfortable in following in the footsteps of my parents.


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  6. I agree completely with all that you have stated in this post.

    It is the insecurity of parents that makes them refuse to cut the umbilical cord. That is why this practice of not cutting the umbilical cord will continue.

    In "Indian culture", expressing a different opinion is equated with disrespect. This is wrong. We can love and respect our parents even though we may not accept their opinions.

    I would only say that those of us who understand the importance and necessity of cutting the umbilical cord should ensure that we cut the umbilical cords of our own children, and encourage those around us to follow our example.

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  7. Yes I have..long time back. I love my parents and so does my husband. As a daughter I fulfill my responsibilities so does my husband. It is as simple as that. We have been complicating it by bringing gender into it since generations. All parents are parents and all kids are kids.

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  8. Agree with you totally on this. Mamma's boys or Daddy's Princesses, they are all nothing but immature beings.

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